Please don't tell me you understand
You're empathic from far away, from were you stand
were I stand my mind is never at ease
in this place there is no time for peace
there is only war in this space and time
only I can see what my mind decides
It is I, the only sufferer of my mind's cries and lament
the only spectator to my sanity's demise
Sometimes I feel like I have fallen
and there is no ladder or lending hand
Just like one cannot say "I understand"
to a patient who lost a limb
just by having felt a numb extremity once
pins and needle and tinglings and itch
one cannot fill with sand this beach
this barren wasted land of negatives
protonic landfills of insecurities
obsessive driven thougts of mutiny
to rebel against this deep force that battles me
this is my war and there is but one soldier
sometimes it seems like I cannot be any stronger
because there is a too willing opponent
an enemy that digs too deep
this is the time to feed
time to grow the guts inside that will spill it the street
of this ongoing civil war within my neural regions
this constant up and down of my crumbling system
fight or flight my darling, your adrenaline is crippling
stop and smell the roses
right under your noses
there is no way of finding out
how I really feel, it is all but doubt
there will never be anyone that lives inside me
not that I would consider renting out my agony
"oh, there it goes" another girl writing about her anxieties
a priviledged middle class educated depressed bomb
guess my social class defines my pain or apathy
judge away and say I know not what pain is
"I am lucky, I am gifted"
I dare you to live one day inside of me
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